After a rather uneventful day I was glad to take a walk along Marmaris beach front with my friend Jacki, stopping off for a bite and then tootling on home alone (as still no takers on the boyfriend front) for a rather uneventfully evening that was supposed to go something like this: Wash Hair Do a bit of work Shop on ebay Diary Entry DVD in bed Sleep I have managed to wash my hair, do a bit of work, shop on ebay, I am completing the diary entry right now, but sleep? Not much chance of that now that I have a lodger. Gucci discovered a grasshopper in my lounge that possibly would have remained undiscovered if he had not tormented the thing into taking an eppy fit and making it go crazy hopping all over, ending up taking pride of place all cozy and snug on my rug. I was just trying to slide off the sofa to go running for cover when Gucci decided that he was not at all happy with this situation. And then the worst happened; Gucci made his attack. If I thought the eppy fit of seconds before was bad, christ alive it got even worse as the horrifically huge grasshopper bounced around finally ended up landing on my big toe. I knew it was not going to be pretty as I am terribly squeamish at the best of times. Well, you can just imagine what happened next: The arms and legs went flapping and flailing, the coffee was thrown in the air, the ashtray strewn all over the floor and the dog hopping up and down with spit, snot and snarl trying to get to the god dam grasshopper, all the while thinking it was the best game ever. When I eventually got my over enthusiastic dog off me and grabbed him, the panic set in as no grasshopper in sight. I doubt that there will be a good conclusion to this tale as I am now in my bedroom, dog beside me, not daring to open the bedroom door in the fear that the beast will be there waiting for round two. If I had a boyfriend, this would all be in hand by now, but sadly this poor terrified Brit has no chance of leaving this bedroom in the hopes of finding one for quite some time. Hot weather you have a lot to answer for, please piss off and let the winter return...
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December 2021
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