![]() As I sit here typing I have the theme tune to my life running through my mind: Queen - 'another on bites the dust'. Again. Yes the weekend has proven to be one where true colours are brought out in the brightest of forms. I shouldnt be surprised, but sadly I am. On Friday night, the new suitor came to my house. I must say, we had a great night, we laughed and laughed and in general, it was one of those good nights that makes you kinda swoon. Until he asked me for a key. And yes, just to clarify, I mean a key to my apartment. We had been dating for all of 8 days. It's OK, let the shock waves flow. I did. I didnt say anything. I didnt say no and I didnt say yes. I was in shock after all, so all I did was umm and ahh about possibly having a spare key somewhere but I didnt know where. Saturday brought even more new colours. Joanne the minger wanted to go to bar street, so I asked the new suitor if he wanted to come and he said he didnt fancy bar street but would come and meet me at the hotel before that for a few drinks. Fair enough I thought. Then he text asking if I missed him. I am not a gal that dishes out feelings left right and center, I am more of a 'lets wait at least a month' kinda sort, so I replied to the text with Maybe. I was only playing, but he obviously didnt quite get it and said that maybe instead of coming to the hotel to meet up, he would just go home instead. Fair enough once again I thought, and told him so. As you can see, I was not taking the bait and I was certainly not about to fall into the pit that he so desperately wanted to trap me in. We did not meet that night, nor did I drunk text stalk him when I got home at 5am. Bravo me! I did text him on the Sunday and we arranged that after he finished work he would come over and we would eat together. No problem there, in fact I was looking forward to it, until he asked if I had located the dreaded key. Yep the time had come for me to lay the cards on the table and tell him that he was not going to get the key. In actual fact what I text him was that if we were still together in 9 months or so, then maybe he would get the key then, all being well off course. What I got as a reply was rather rude and pissed me right off: "If you think like this you are selfish and I dont want you". Excellent train of thought dont you think? Not biting again, all he got in response to that was "OK Goodbye". I decided to call on Joanne the minger for a bit of advice. I like him but I was not giving up the key for love nor money after 8 days of dating. This to me was and is just pure craziness. We decided that I would send one last message saying that if he wanted to finish the 'relationship' over this then it is just ridiculous. He text back telling me that he would be at my house at 12.30am. No he bloody wouldnt! I replied letting him know that we would just talk tomorrow instead, to which I got no reply. Now I should have given up there, I really should have. Joanne convinced me not to text again that night and I took her advice. So I text today instead just asking how he was. I got a reply so it was all good. Later on today he asked what I was doing tonight, so I told him I was home and if he wanted to come over to talk, he could. At that point Pete Tong arrived. Yes, as I should have known, it all went a bit wrong in so many terrible ways. He told me that he was hungry and that I was to buy him a Pizza (and a mixed one at that). The beast of rage started to stir within once again and even before I sent the next text to him I knew that I could not control my sheer fury. So in the nicest way possible I told him I was not here to buy him Pizza's and/or look after him in any way shape or form, but if he wanted to talk, then he could still come round. Silly cow right? What reply did I get to that you may wonder? "I am tired, I want to sleep early, see you tomorrow". Yes I should also have thought about stopping there too, but you guessed it, I didnt. Without skipping a beat my fingers were doing the talking, tapping out the next text. I didnt let him have it (even though now I wish I did, but I can still text again to be fair). I told him that a girl of 30 years is over game playing and the games that he is playing can get shoved up his butt along with his head. Like I said, I didnt let him have it, but as I sit here contemplating letting him have it, I just cant be bothered wasting the 1 minute it would take to type out the text as I believe I have already wasted 8 days of enough to waste one more minute of being taken for some sort of chump. So in conclusion, his devious plan did not work, nor will any plan like that ever work with a girl like me that has seen it all before... Thinking back, I should have never brought him back to my pad with the gang 9 days ago. Why? Well, my pad is rather lush and anyone that walks through the door would think the same as he probably did: 'I'm onto a winner here'. Whether I have money or whether I chose to decorate my pad with the last of my money, no son of a bitch will ever be onto a winner or have an easy ride with this gal in the driving seat. You see I aint nobody's fool and what I have, I have worked dam hard for and wont give it up for a jumped up little stud wanna be. Ever. I firmly believe in the following statement: Get off your dam arse and work for your own money instead of poncing it out of a woman. Have I learnt a lesson here? Yes, I believe another life lesson has been thoroughly learnt. Thank you universe for the past few days teaching me that there are still some scum out there that can pull the wool over my eyes with their snappy dressing and smooth moves that I thought I was most definitely immune too. Thank you universe for letting me have a bloody lucky escape. And thank you universe for showing me that I am not desperate enough to fall for the shit this one was trying to flush. Yes I have learnt that I need to keep my brick wall bloody high, so high that only the right person that is deserving will persevere in the task of climbing over it. And finally, I am once again thinking that it might be time to move on from Turkey. Not because of the guy in case you wondered. This thought started to creep over me last year and I seem to keep getting subtle nudges from the universe that yes it is indeed time to really think about the next step. What is the next step for this single socialite? Well I am unsure as yet but I know it does not involve going to the UK come hell or high water. Other than that, I am open to suggestions. I just hope and pray that this is not all there is. I hope and pray that there is more left for me than what I have been dished up so far, as if this really is all there is, then please just stick a fork in me cos in the nicest possible way - Im done.
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![]() After Mondays update on Karma, a normal person would have started to pay attention to Karma and the way it works. Obviously me being me I didnt, and things started to go to from bad to worse. I told my new suitor that I needed a good rest on Monday night meaning that we would not be seeing each other. It is never good when they move in after the first date like they do over here, and after my Ex, I vowed I would never let that happen to me again. I was quite happy with my 'easy does it' approach, plus I was shattered and wanted to jump straight into bed after 'Made in Chelsea' for a good long kip. Whether is was the language barrier or whether he just couldnt face to be alone without me for one single night again, I did not get the kip that I sorely craved. Nope. What I got was woken up with banging at the front door at 02.30am. At first I ignored it. That was until my phone started ringing off the hook and Gucci started having a spaz attack as he thought someone was here to take him for a walk. I would have continued ignoring it but then the shouting started 'Louisssssssssssssssssssssse!', 'Louisssssssssssssssssssssssssssse!'. As I live in a well respected area with my landlords living right next door, I nearly broke my neck running down the stairs trying to get to the front door before he started yowling again. What happened next was a shock to me as I was expecting to just shut him up and send him away with a flea in his ear, but as I answered the door I felt blind rage creeping across the whole of my being resulting in me screaming bloody murder waking up everyone in my block. He huffed and puffed a bit and then buggered off due to the lack of understanding of my English ranting, leaving me with the glaring eyes of all my neighbors. Great. This was a first as usually it is me and the neighbors conspiring how to get rid of all the noise makers in our block, not the other way around. I felt uncomfortable and rather hard done by finding myself at this end of the stick. Dam my new suitor for waking up the beast within! So after apologizing profusely to the neighbors I took my disgraced self up to bed with the hopes of drifting back off to sleep. Funny how hopes can be shattered isnt it. When I awoke, I felt really awful, not just about the neighbor situation, but also for unleashing the beast upon my new suitor as I had found out that all he wanted was his wallet that he had forgotten in my house the day before. But still, did it mean that he had to come at 02.30am for it? Apparently yes as time has no boundaries in Turkey said Minger Joanne's [Turkish] boyfriend. Well that told me didnt it. We have made it up now (Just) as I seem to have gotten through to him that if he had come 2 hours earlier it would not have been as much of an issue. He said he understood, but time will tell wont it. We actually had fun last night with Joanne and her slaver (Boyfriend), and even managed to cast the image of the previous night into less than a thought. That was until me and the new suitor came back to my house, fell into a deep sleep, then were rudely awoken when the door bell started going at 04.00am. I looked over and he was still in bed, so who the hell was that then? O dear, I could feel the beast within starting to stir again and I knew that this was not going to be pretty. I answered the door to find 2 of last nights neighbors glaring at me telling me that my car had parked theirs in (silly Kastro!). So with all the might that I could muster, I stomped down to the car, muttering obscenities the whole way and shifted Kastro (the car) out of their way. As he shouted a very sarcastic 'Thank You', all I could manage back was a very non sarcastic 'F#@k You'. And with that, I stomped back up to my bed with the flea in my ear that was supposed to belong to my new suitor 2 nights previously. KARMA! Dont you just love it? ![]() As I sit here half watching 'My name is Earl' and half contemplating about blogging, I started thinking about Karma and how it should work in good ways if you are generally speaking a good person right? What am I talking about? My weekend of debauchery. All the ingredients were there to make it one of greatness: Alcohol Mingers Hed Kandi BBQ's More Alcohol and randomness Not much more a single socialite could ask for right? Friday turned out to be an unexpected night to say the least. I was expecting to be having vodka night round at my house with my good pal, but as that was canceled at last minute, I was left at a bit of a loose end. Not for long though due to being cajoled by Joanne the minger into partying my asse off to the tunes of Hed Kandi on Bar St in Marmaris. I couldnt complain (and as it turns out I can never say no) as even though I had no idea what the hell Hed Kani was before I arrived at the club, I certainly did by the end of it. Wicked.com And my snappy dressing suitor was right there with us. We drank, danced, took random photos, piled back to mine and drank some more. Then it all went Pete Tong. I couldnt possibly reveal the full story, so let me tell you the short version; Me and Joanne ended up in the cemetery at 8am , mugs of vodka in hand, pajamas on, commenting on just how peaceful it was there at that time of day. Fact. All the while my new suitor was waiting patiently at home for me to come back. Sucker. Well, we have to put them through trials dont we, otherwise how do we know how much it will take these new suitors to crack? Trial 1 Status: Completed Successfully Saturday kicked off with Eastenders (I missed the first episode as I decided to ignore the alarm), then went back to sleep for a while in preparation for dinner and drinks with the mingers. Good times. Sunday was another good day. The new suitor came over for a pool day and then team minger showed the new suitor exactly how its done with a Sunday Beer and BBQ night. Yes all seemed well on the western front. It was until I started getting bombarded with texts from the new suitor today. Why is it that they just dont know when to stop over here? I like the air of mystery and sometimes I like to do a bit of the chasing, but alas, here in a land that I will never fully understand, there is just not much option of that. Im really hoping that this doesnt put me off my new suitor as once I have gone off someone there aint no getting those first initial butterflies back again. Fact. If karma were here with me now it would do its damdest to make sure that nothing puts me off the cute snappy dressing new suitor. Karma would have shown up when he spouted 'you will not drink as much any more' and stopped those words dead in their tracks before escaping from said suitors mouth. Karma would teach him English in a day (or at least teach me Turkish). Karma would have me wanting to spend every waking moment with my new suitor in the first flushes of romance. Karma coulda, woulda, shoulda. But didnt. I guess karma chose not to boomerang itself back to me right now even though I dam well deserved it. So as the weekend fades into a distant memory, my impeding doom has not hit me as fast as it usually would on this boring Monday night. Now I am certainly not saying that it wont arrive at some point, but so far so good right? Karma. If it was of human form I would slap it. ![]() I went on the date last night. Yes I forced myself out of the door, down to minger Joannes hotel to drink some dutch courage and wait for my date to arrive. I decided to take Joanne and her boyfriend along with me on my date as the English was going to be a bit of an issue and everyone in the world speaks better Turkish than I do. The English was an issue but that didnt stop me perving all over him in sheer lust. Yes the boy is a looker, a sharp dresser, in my age group and has severe determination to learn English. Sod the English, body language would work just fine, however yes, the boy is a gentleman god dam him! We had an excellent 3 way conversation and it was not awkward at all, in fact I was laughing for most of the night! He is not a player (so he says), he wants to get married, he is saving to open up his own business and did I mention that he is friggin gorgeous? Even Joanne the minger has got good vibes about him and that says an awful lot as she has vetted some of the things that I have introduced her to before and is generally right on the money. He definitely has his green light turned on and has come to that time in his life (as all men eventually do) where he feels it is time to settle down. What great luck I seem to have finally stumbled upon! In fact I shall pat myself on the back. Whats that now, dont speak too soon? Sod off, Im going to revel in this as he is dam near perfect all apart from the language barrier. However, he says give him 2 months and he will most definitely be rattling off conversations about quantum physics with me :) And I believe him too. Also due to the copious amounts of dutch courage consumed, my brick wall was not as high as it normally is, and I didnt scare him off! Yey! I suppose you could label me 'Smitten' right now. O yeah, and he likes horrifically naughty dogs too. Thank god as Gucci was nearly getting sold! (said whilst looking at a horrifically naughty dog smiling whilst he does his best frog impression.) ![]() Tonight one of my good Mingers Kelly came round for dinner. I would like to have said that I cooked up a magnificent feast of goodies for us to munch our way through, however that would have been a blatant lie. Kelly stopped off at Dominoes on the way up to my house bringing with her huge assed pizzas that we happily munched our way through whilst having a girly catch up. All pleasantries aside there was a reason for Kelly coming over and that was to help me with my dating dilemma's. I had already discussed this with Jackie earlier on in the day, but just needed some clarification on my corrupt, suspicious and over obsessing mind. Dating Dilemma 1- Last weeks date Am I brushing him off too soon after just one date? Or is the non existent chemistry a huge indicator for whats to come? BTW can chemistry come at a later date if its not initially there or can it take one bold move to spark it off? Dating Dilemma 2- Tomorrow nights date Is my suspicious mind getting the better of me after checking his facebook page today and seeing new pictures of him with a girl? Or am I making excuses not to go on the date as I am simply a bit of a dick? Dating Dilemma 3- The ongoing saga What if I dont feel the click with either of these guys? Am I going to be eternally single and turn into (god forbid) a 'Spinster'? That word sends shivers down my spine, but by being unmarried at the age of 30 I suppose I will just have to get used to that label. 'Old maid' and 'on the shelf' also spring to mind. Joy of joys. Or am I going to be one of those fabulous flirty thirties, shut the hell up with my whinging, drink a bit more vodka and get the hell on with it until my knight in shining Armour finally arrives? After much discussion we all seem to have come to the same conclusion: A) To give last weeks date a chance to induce some mind altering amazing chemistry when he returns from his business trip B) To go out on tomorrow nights date and maybe have a new label thrust in my direction: 'Player' (in the spirit of 'if you cant beat em, join em') C) To have another drink, call it a night and see if I wake up a brand new me D) I am simply a bit of a dick - Period. God love my friends. So this brand new Player, Dick or insert your own word here, is going to go with the flow, go on tomorrows date (with a bottle of vodka in tow), check the chemistry levels (not to be confused with the vodka levels) and in the words of Prince: Party like its 1999. Its all good, right? Answers on a postcard please...! ![]() Well what can I say about my weekend without getting into rather large amounts of trouble? Here goes (without divulging too many secrets)... The weekend should have started with dinner with a friend, but dinner was skipped when my hair was laughing in my face and taking the piss right out of me. Talk about bad hair day! I consequently arrived 2 hours late for dinner, trilby in tow due to the horrific shock that my hair would have caused. Welcome vodka. After my fluid dinner of 2 rather large vodkas we hit bar street to catch some random Turkish singer that turned out to be quite good. Drinks were flowing, the atmosphere was buzzing and the night ended with me going to bed at 6am, alone again but with Gucci there to always keep me company. I could have pulled. Yes indeed I could have as a 'friend' called at 5am and that only signifies one thing. But me being me, I didnt take the bait. Well not this time anyway. In the midst of all this I would like to point out that Vodka makes you do things that you wouldn't normally think about doing whilst in a sober state... Or maybe it brings out what you really want to do but couldnt without the drunken push from within? No; I am sticking with the first one as it fits better for me personally, however it is always worthwhile questioning yourself from time to time. Questioning aside, its the first option. Definitely. What did the vodka make me do? Well, a girl has to have some secrets doesnt she? God help me if I ever blog whilst drunk. Travesty.com! Saturday came and went in yet another vodka blur. Thankfully I seem to have got out of my staying home on a Saturday night rut. My title will no longer be ripped away from me - All hail the ability of what vodka can do for a single socialite! I met up with a good friend that used to work here and we got good and drunk. Nothing odd about that right? Now that the weekend is over, my impending doom has once again set in. Firstly my date from last week is out of town but the chemistry wasnt really there as much as I was kidding myself that it could be, it just wasnt. And without chemistry, you got nothing right? I have however been asked out on a date by another young, virile, very good looking, snappy dressing suitor. He doesn't speak great English, however I am sure I can get around that as he is just so dam hot. Why the impeding doom? Let me explain. I actually fancied him when I first saw him back in April. I asked his friend about him, then forgot about him after obsessing over him for a while. Then all of a sudden he gets in touch and asks me out. Is it me or is that a bit odd? I mean 2 months have passed. What went on in these two months? Am I being overly skeptical due to my trust issues? I guess I will never know unless I go on Wednesday night, and I am hoping and praying that I dont talk myself out of going. Jeeze its only a date after all! Sometimes I need to give myself somewhat of a slap as I over dramatize dam near everything. I do this because here in Marmaris I have seen a lot of things go on that make you put the brick wall well and truly up and in turn this gives you ridiculously huge trust issues. Is the brick wall worth it at the age of 30 and still single? Dam right its worth it. Self preservation is the key to living here. Does Marmaris make you hard faced? Yes, it most certainly does. But I have not lost hope. If one day I was to loose everything but was left with hope, then thats good enough for me. So no more of this talking myself out of going on this date crap. I am going and yes there is going to be amazing chemistry. And if there isnt, well there is always vodka... OK so I was just sitting here watching a bit of VH1 and trying to ignore the fact that:
a) Im a saddo for just lying on my sofa watching movie soundtracks and b) I may still have the grasshopper lurking around probably watching me watching VH1 also thinking that I am a saddo for watching movie soundtracks, when my neighbor who lives opposite called me up and asked me what I was up to at 01.00am when he would be returning home from work. I explained to him that if I was not asleep I would probably be lying on my sofa, bag of crisps in one hand and tissues in the other watching VH1s movie sound tracks. When he asked why, I simply replied 'Well why not?'. Anyway, back to the point of the phone call. He wanted to come round for a drink when he finished work as he was stressed. Never mind the time being 01.00am and most normal people would be in bed asleep - no, never mind that at all, its all about him and his stress. Why should my being tired effect him wanting to have a drink and de-stress? You see here in Turkey the concept of time just does not matter to certain people. For example, after my horrific experience with the grasshopper me and Gucci went to bed early as Guc was shattered from trying to get the bug and I was too scared to stay downstairs any longer, and we both drifted off into a panicked sleep. Well I did anyway, Guc was just happy he got to sleep with his Mam and abused the situation and snuggled right in. Anyway: back to the point. We were in a deep sleep when my mobile started ringing ridiculously on and on and on and on. There were 11 missed calls; one after the other. If that wasn't enough to send me hurtling out of the bedroom, across the snake infested path and down the insect ridden stairs to his door to knock him out, then him throwing stones at my balcony window certainly would have done the trick. However, my fear overcame my annoyance so I ended up staying put watching my ringing phone continue to ring. Why didnt I answer it and tell him to piss off? Well that would have encouraged him to come a knockin at the door with victory in his eyes knowing that he had succeeded in waking me up. Anyhow, he eventually took the hint and buggered off back to his own home, finally leaving me alone. Alone and very much awake the selfish sod. That is the point that I was trying to make - no consideration for the person that they are annoying/waking up. Its all about them. My rude neighbor reminds me a bit of Mr. Attitude in Istanbul (Check out the book segments if you are lost at this point). Mr. Attitude was very much the same - as long as everything was going his way he didnt care about anything else, in fact even when things were not going his way, it was always all about him. You know the type - Know it all's. Cant friggin' stand them! So what I am trying to say here in a terribly round about sort of way is why do people have no regard for consideration any more? If someone didnt answer the phone to me after 2 missed calls I can safely say I would give the hell up, so why cant others? Cos its all about them thats why. The time is now 01.15am. If my neighbor calls again as he said he would any time from now onwards, I think I will just invite him over. Why? I dont want to have another 22,000,000,0000 missed calls waking me the hell up if I choose to take my sorry arse up to bed soon. And if he doesnt call, I am going to leave it an hour from now when I know he will be tucked up in bed and plague the living crap out of him. The sad fact is that he will probably answer on the first ring and tell me to piss of cos he is sleeping. ![]() After a rather uneventful day I was glad to take a walk along Marmaris beach front with my friend Jacki, stopping off for a bite and then tootling on home alone (as still no takers on the boyfriend front) for a rather uneventfully evening that was supposed to go something like this: Wash Hair Do a bit of work Shop on ebay Diary Entry DVD in bed Sleep I have managed to wash my hair, do a bit of work, shop on ebay, I am completing the diary entry right now, but sleep? Not much chance of that now that I have a lodger. Gucci discovered a grasshopper in my lounge that possibly would have remained undiscovered if he had not tormented the thing into taking an eppy fit and making it go crazy hopping all over, ending up taking pride of place all cozy and snug on my rug. I was just trying to slide off the sofa to go running for cover when Gucci decided that he was not at all happy with this situation. And then the worst happened; Gucci made his attack. If I thought the eppy fit of seconds before was bad, christ alive it got even worse as the horrifically huge grasshopper bounced around finally ended up landing on my big toe. I knew it was not going to be pretty as I am terribly squeamish at the best of times. Well, you can just imagine what happened next: The arms and legs went flapping and flailing, the coffee was thrown in the air, the ashtray strewn all over the floor and the dog hopping up and down with spit, snot and snarl trying to get to the god dam grasshopper, all the while thinking it was the best game ever. When I eventually got my over enthusiastic dog off me and grabbed him, the panic set in as no grasshopper in sight. I doubt that there will be a good conclusion to this tale as I am now in my bedroom, dog beside me, not daring to open the bedroom door in the fear that the beast will be there waiting for round two. If I had a boyfriend, this would all be in hand by now, but sadly this poor terrified Brit has no chance of leaving this bedroom in the hopes of finding one for quite some time. Hot weather you have a lot to answer for, please piss off and let the winter return... ![]() So last night was date night, eventually. I say eventually as it was a bit touch and go there for a while, but yes, it 'eventually' happened. We eventually decided on going to Mascara bar in Marmaris, which overlooks the whole of the Marmaris bay. Lovely setting for a romantic evening dont you think? However me being me, I seemed to have tripped over a vodka bottle prior to arriving and was consequently a little tipsy. That certainly helped me overcome my first date nerves and set me on a path of destruction. It would be great if I could remember the conversation as it was, but alas, I cant. Dam that bottle of vodka that tripped me up! The date must have gone well as when I text him tonight, he was really cool. Yes, I had to text him as what I do remember about the night was that he was definitely the shy type, but then opposites attract apparently. We do look good together I must add, him with his dark brooding looks dressed in a black suit, and me with my wild platinum blond locks dressed rather casually refined and as always in black from head to toe. Yes - we could work well in a photo for sure (well on paper yes however every photo that I am in I look like a retarded blowfish). I may have to consider giving up my usual Victoria Beckham non smiling pose as of late it has not been doing much for me! But then again, neither does showing off my pearly whites in a photo either. Some people are just not photogenic and I happen to be one of those poor buggers. But like I always think - better in person, that is unless my mirror is a bloody lier? Is there going to be a date number two? If he asks then I shall accept :) But this time he knows he has to do the asking as I do remember telling him this when we bid each other farewell. And he said he would, but time will only tell... I am supposed to be going on a date tonight. I say 'Supposed' to be as I am still waiting for the time to be confirmed.
Finally a man I rather like grew a pair and has chosen a time for our date. I had to do the asking and choose the night, all he had to do was choose the time. So, I am sitting here waiting patiently for our date time to arrive to my mobile. He mentioned 9pm but would confirm that time today. Being a Virgo I hate waiting for things that are meant to be simple. Having the Virgo trait can be a curse at times as it means that I am not a 'go with the flow' kind of gal. Nope - everything needs to be planned and organised ahead of time. For my work life off course its great, but personal life - not so much great as anal. Its like this: you either can or you cant, you either do or you dont, you either eat or get eaten. So here I am, still waiting anally and its now 2.55pm. Living in Turkey people are a lot more laid back by nature and dont rush to the same extent as they do in the UK. That is obviously one of the good parts of living here, however not when it comes to dating and waiting. In work life I am on top of the game, a step ahead, and you could say professional to a tee. Good for me right? Not in Turkey. The Virgo part of me screams for more organisation, for more motivation, for more rushing about and getting things done right there and then. In fact, thats why my business works as I never stop. Should I learn how to be more Turkish and do things only when its at the last minute? Maybe. Maybe I would get more done in the long run as there must be some method to the madness right? Whatever side of the fence you sit on, whatever star sign you have, whether you are laid back or a workaholic - Does it really matter here in Turkey? Only when a Virgo is patiently/anally waiting for a date :) Tick tock tick tock. |
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