![]() So I saw my ex today. What a lovely sight it was too. I saw him walk down the marina and straight into the place where me and my friends were sitting. I saw him pull up a pew just a table away and it was even more lovely seeing him pull out a chair for the girl that he was with... Like a time machine I was transported back to 4 years ago to when we used to do the exact same thing. Yep, me and my friends plus him and his friends used to all hang out together every Sunday on the marina on a warm winters day drinking beer and having some laughs. Times have changed. Not only am I 4 years older in age, I am 4 years older in mind. So what does this mean exactly? Absolutely nothing as I sit here with a vodka in my hand trying to type whilst also trying not to shed a tear. Sodding hell. Its not as if I miss him. I got over that a long arsed time ago. He has done me wrong in so many ways that I cant even explain so I must point out here that I dont even want this tool back in my life. But it hurt non the less. He was the one that got away, the one that broke my heart that now seems to be made of stone. Yep, he kick started my writing as people got so sick of me talking about him after we broke up that I had to find a new way to vent and writing was how I did it. Thanks I guess, cos without you, I wouldnt be where I am today. And where is that exactly? I'll tell you where: Sitting at home, drinking vodka alone, contemplating calling up a dude just for a comfort thing to make sure that I am still desirable and wanted... Yeah, like I said, thanks... I have been thinking about him a lot lately. Not in the way that you may think here dear 5 readers, believe me. I have started to realize that this ex of mine is going to get married soon. Maybe not to the girl that he was with today, but as he is Turkish, they all decide to get married once they hit 30 and usually to one of there own kind. Now there aint nothing wrong with that believe me. But why stick your toe in the foreigner lake if you knew that you would not settle there eventually? Because some men are selfish thats why. Some men want take the whole cake and shovel it down there lactose intolerant throats. Good for them right? Yeah... Right... I would not want this Mummies boy back if he came a crawlin' but it doesnt stop the cogs from turnin' does it. 31 and never married in Turkey is kind of like being 45 and never married anywhere else in the world. You are thought of as an old maid, a spinster and being left on the shelf for a reason, that reason being that you are damaged goods. Maybe they are right, maybe I am damaged goods, but who the hell isnt? Jesus. What do I have? Thankfully friends, but unfortunately friends that have boyfriends kinda make it worse. They dont want to come out on a Saturday night, they dont want to do a lot of things. Why? Because they have boyfriends and dont need to go out too much anymore. They dont need to go fishing and kiss the frogs. They have paid their dues and have settled down. Sometimes with the wrong ones, but non the less, they have someone on a cold winters night here in Marmaris. So once again, where does that leave me? Sitting on the sofa with the dog and a glass of vodka, watching ridiculous rom coms, shedding a tear for what coulda shoulda woulda and not out on the town like a single socialite should be. Ha, Im living the dream right? As if. Another pain in the asse is the fact that I seem to have lost all motivation. I cant shift my asse into gear. My book is complete but the will to edit it has gone. I thought I had the will earlier this week when I actually cleaned my house, but then I decided to sit my butt back on the sofa and do nothing instead. I realize that I cant blame the sodding ex for all of this, and that makes this a travesty as I have no one else to blame apart from my god dam self. How bloody marvelous. So im signing off for now. Im signing off with my impending doom that only seems to get worse as the vodka keeps flowing. The answer seems easy, stop drinking vodka right? Wrong. I am drinking the vodka for a reason. That reason is to escape this miserable existence that I seem to have found myself in for the last week. What the vodka brings with it is not so great I admit. It encourages the most stupid behavior I have ever known, but, so be it. So be it. I am hoping that normal service will be resumed shortly as my dear 5 readers know that this is not a normal thing for me. I cant even blame it on the monthly, so sod it, Im gonna blame the ex and his new wife to be. I hope you will both have a terrible happy and mundane life, as that is something that I could never have offered. Mundane is just not my box of frogs.
2 Comments
who wants to mary a turkish girl with hair on her face FFS
11/20/2011 06:09:44 am
hairyturkishbrides.com.tr
Reply
Omer Hamdi Kaya
6/24/2012 09:26:24 pm
Add me to readers, it's five no more. Really liked it. A Turkish guy who does not live in Marmaris, aged 29, single. A terrible profile I have on the first look do you think?
Reply
Your comment will be posted after it is approved.
Leave a Reply. |
![]() Louise BellWelcome to my world... Archives
December 2021
Categories
All
|